Friday, November 14, 2014

Oh my God.  I'm busy.   

I look back on my life with four little kids and I shake my head with all-knowingness that can only come with experience from living life in the trenches.  I thought I was busy then.  Oh.  My. God.  I had no idea.  NO.  Bloody.  Idea. 

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

A Ramble . . . .

Over the past zillion years that I feel like I've been blogging, I've been through plenty of ups and downs, ons and offs with the frequency of posts and what I have to say.  The danger in blogging, of course, is that it's something like a journal,  and when you put things out there for people to stumble upon and read, your most authentic self if revealed to (sometimes) complete strangers.  Their comments then either lift you or cut you.  Even if you try not to take things to heart, it's impossible.  

So . .  . . to blog with a risk?

So . . . to journal with no risk?

I'm not in love with journaling . . . even in the digital way. It doesn't feel as right to me.  Plus, I don't edit myself well, so things seem down and bad ALL the time.  I fail to write about good things, cute things, or things I am proud of.  

So, a'bloggin' I will go .   . .

I've taken a significant amount of time off of the written bloggable  day to day to do, well, stuff.   Work.  Kids.  Volleyball.  Gymnastics.  Watch kids grow.  Raise some chickens. Read some books.  And work.  Did I mention work?  I've been working like a dog.  It feels non-stop.  I'm overworked and underpaid, but I've fallen into a rhythm.    I used to ramble out updates about family and kids and work and, and, and, and .. . . not so much anymore.  I used to keep a list of books I had read and maintain a line a day journaling thing.  Ya, not so much anymore.    But, as of today . . . . I'm back.

Yep, I'm back.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

District Volleyball

I've been too damn busy to blog.
Last weekend marks the first free weekend since January 11th.
I see that I did some blogging in February.  It was the weekend that Middle and I spent in Minneapolis.  It was subzero and she had food poisoning, so we spent the whole day in bed after her meet session.    That's how I've been rolling.  

Little by little, I'm making a comeback.

Starting here . . . . .

Middle school A squad line-up and announcement prior to championship game.

And we win . . . for the three-peat! 

Lady Jag volleyball with the "3" for the district title and championship three years running.
Big has been on all of these teams!! 

With the proud principal. 

8th graders alone. 

Big (#27) with two of her buddies . . . . 

Lots of talent on this team .  . these five A-squad starters also played for the 14 Navy
traveling team for club.  They are all splitting next year and going to 4 different high schools,
so this picture might just be the end of an era. 

Saturday, March 01, 2014

February 17 - I dropped my phone in the toilet at the high school open house.
February 18 - One of my least favorite emotions is disappointment ..... On all counts, being disappointed in something, or someone, or yourself stinks.
February 19 - I'm not entirely sure how I actually ended up the Vice President of the booster club. Two-sentence rule breaker day. Oh my God. I'm sick. Being old and sick sucks.
February 20 - I am frustrated, disappointed and generally displeased with PTA & I think I will excuse myself from all things PTA ASAP.
February 21 - The choice window closes today and I'm hoping and praying that Big gets into the high school she wants ..... So much more complicated than "back-when-I-was-a-kid"!!
February 22 - I had a meeting this morning where there are never enough chairs so I sat on a bucket and now I have a semi-circular bucket shaped bruise on my ass.
February 23 - I got up early to take Big to volleyball this morning ..... They didn't play very well but it was still fun to watch.
February 1 - No matter how hard I try to NOT obsess about my weight and what I look like from the outsider, it invades my every thought.
February 2 - The truth is ...... I am a comfortable size 10 and I work really, really hard to maintain a hearty 160 pound frame.
February 3 - Big is just six weeks away from getting her braces off!
February 4 - I find Facebook entertaining and annoying ..... You have to be in just the right mood to deal with social media.
February 5 - Are all parents absolutely fucking nuts or is it JUST parents of athletes?
February 6 - My favorite pizza right now is dominos deep dish with light sauce, pepperoni, bacon and green olives.
February 7 - Eating gluten-free is very, very difficult.
February 8 - Good news: my heart is fine.
February 9 - Bad news: I have a new battle to fight with gastroesophogeal reflux and stricture; that's just freaking awesome!
February 10 - Everyone must go see Frozen ..... Best thing I've seen in a long, long time!!!
February 11 - Exhausted from a long weekend of hosting hospitality and athlete check-in at our home meet, The Pikes Peak Cup.
February 12 - We are traveling to Columbus thus weekend and the weather forecast is truly terrible.
February 13 - I spent $100 on Valentine's Day stuff for my kids.... A giant stuffed elephant for Mimi will make her morning & something special and unique and thoughtful for everyone.
February 14 - It's not fun to get stuck in the Dallas-Ft. Worth airport for four extra hours on Valentine's Day. Drat.
February 15 - too tired to form one sentence so I'm stringing it all together with she flipped her vault and the venue was big and we saw Bethanne and the hotel bed is comfy and I slept good but breakfast sucked and I'm not loving the politics of sports because I suck at it and I miss my kids, husband, dogs and chickens .....
February 16 - My husband's conspiracy theories about airlines might be right ..... Damn delays.
January 20 - "I have a dream that one day my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but the content of their character." MLK
January 21 - Back to school this morning and 6:35 came too damn fast.
January 22 - Someday, I think I will look back on these busy, crazy,  hectic days juggling work and family and I will be amazed by what I have accomplished.
January 23 - I don't think I really got good at this motherhood gig until baby number 4 came bouncing into my life.
January 24 - I need to make a more conscious effort to put my mother on my radar & check in every day; I will not be bitter or wish for help that I won't receive.
January 25 - In my estimation, there is a gigantic difference between forgiving someone for things done wrong unto you and keeping a safe distance in the name of  self-preservation.
January 26 - Middle had a great meet this weekend and I'm so proud of the emotional strength she is showing this season ..... She is growing and maturing every day.
January 27 - Monday has become my least favorite day of the week.
January 28 - WE HAVE EGGS!!!
January 29 - I know it's random and maybe seems dumb, but I love these backyard chickens .... They have brought laughter and happiness to me that I wasn't expecting for a bunch of $2 birds!!
January 30 - Where has the month gone??
January 31 - Big has an NJHS meeting this morning and I'm going with her to recruit volunteers for the Pikes Peak Cup next month.

January 17 --  As seems to be normal for this month, I have officially diagnosed myself with stage 4 breast cancer and envisioned myself knitting cancer beanies with all my new chemo friends.
January 18 - We are playing in a three-day volleyball tournament at a local club where the owner is a complete jackass. 
January 19 - During this weekend's volleyball tourney, I found a local park and have had a lovely time playing with Middle, Little and Mimi.

Jodi Picoult & Jeanette Wahls

2014 book list additions .....

Jodi Picoult ..... Crap, I already forgot the name of that book. Like all of hers, it left me aching.  Oh, The Storyteller. I liked it.

At the library I also picked up a Jeanette Wahls book .... I really liked The Glass Castle ..... I like the dysfunctional it's of her books and families.  I liked the emu stuff in this book. Random. But it pleased me. It was called The Silver Star.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

2014 Book List


(1) Kill Alex Cross . . . James Patterson 
I start reading these and can't put them down and then I finish them and I can't remember what the book was about.  Silly.  I have terrible reading retention. 

(2) Predator . . . Patricia Cornwell 
I used to love Patricia Cornwell but kinda became bored with the re-explanations of everything in every new book.  Same thing here.  The book was disturbing to read, as I'm sue it was to write.  Benton seems like a sexy catch and Kay seems unbelievably uptight, but I think I'd love for her to cook for me. 

Sentence Per Day . . .

January 9th.   On my way to my first diagnostic mammogram and I just about have myself diagnosed with every breast disorder possible.
January 10th.  I went to the mall today and bought a new pair of overpriced jeans but I'm justifying every penny spent since I've worn holes in the crotch of my very favorite pair.  (Two sentence rule breaker) I'm seeing a real doctor today because I've been having awful chest pain.
January 11th.  I think it's not a normal Saturday at all when someone has a scheduled something-or-nother from 0730 to 12, 1130 to 1230 and 1400 to 1600!
January 12th.  It's a big sporting day for our family with the first volleyball tournament of the year AND Middle's first Level 8 meet.
January 13th.  Big's team went undefeated and WON the power tournament, while Middle finished 3rd on floor, 1st of bars AND floor and 3rd all around!
January 14th.  My heart sunk when the lady from the Women's Imaging Center called and said these words, "The radiologist sees something on your scans that he'd like to take a closer look at . . . do you think you can come in today?"
January 15th.  I've been officially re-mammogrammed and have stood on my head six ways til Sunday all whilst by boobie was smushed between two plexi plates and I stood topless in a room with a 400 pound German woman named Helga.
January 16th.  Today was the best day of 2014 so far and I am so very grateful to my dear, dear friend, M, for the lovely day and fabulous time together.

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

ONE SENTENCE PER DAY JOURNALING


HEARD OF IT? 
I'M TRYING IT IN 2014 . . . . 
BUT GETTING THE SENTENCE INTO BLOG FORM EVERY DAY HAS ALREADY PROVEN TO BE A CHALLENGE, SO I'M PLANNING TO POST THEM IN CLUMPS . . . . 

HERE IS THE FIRST SET, WHICH I'VE KEPT SCRIBBLED ON STICKY NOTES AND NAPKINS AROUND THE HOUSE, IN POCKETS AND IN MY PURSE. 

JANUARY 1 -- WORKING A TWELVE HOUR DAY SUCKS. 
JANUARY 2 -- LITTLE SAID, "IF I EVER HAVE A SON,  I'M NAMING HIM NIGEL." 
JANUARY 3 -- IT'S PERFECT JUST LIKE THAT . . . WITH PRETTY PAPER, A NICE RIBBON AND VERY THOUGHTFUL CONTENTS -- DON'T CHANGE A THING.
JANUARY 4 -- PRACTICE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE EASY; IF YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH PRACTICE THEN ANY MEET IS A CAKE WALK. 
JANUARY 5 -- THREE MORE DAYS UNTIL SCHOOL STARTS, AND I'M GLAD . . BECAUSE I NEED TO MOP THE STINKIN' FLOOR. 
JANUARY 6 -- I NEED TO GATHER UP ALL THESE LITTLE LISTS AND MAKE A MASTER LIST. 
JANUARY 7 -- I'M NOT QUITE SURE EXACTLY WHERE TO START. 
JANUARY 8 -- I LIKE TEA  . . ICED, HOT, GREEN, BLACK . .  I LIKE TEA . . BUT IT SURE MAKES ME HAVE TO PEE. 

2013 BOOK LIST -

THE END,
I THINK . . .

THE ARRANGEMENT . . . I READ THE BOX SET.  INTERESTING.
THE HUSBAND'S SECRET . . . . I KEPT READING TO FIND OUT WHAT THE SECRET WAS.  PRETTY GOOD.  I LIKE THAT AUTHOR .  . .

AND NOW I'M ON TO 2014 . . .

Buddah Was Smart

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.
Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.
There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.
No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.
The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.
Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.