Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Oh, the Drama!

I've been wrestling with the drama of a young gymnast this week.  Well, the drama is actually not that of the young gymnast but from miscommunication from her coaches.  The kickoff "big" meet for this level is this weekend.  It's enormous and it's our host gym event.  Eighteen sessions over three days that run into two gyms simultaneously.  Teams come from all over the US to compete in this meet.  It's a qualifier for bigger meets and the Level 10 and Elite gymnasts are amazing.  Really inspiring.  

This Saturday is Middle's return to the arena, as it were.  Her first meet back since her back fracture.  And she has been working like a champion.  On every event.  Since she was cleared.  She hasn't missed a practice, hasn't been late to a practice, is chugging through strength and conditioning like a rock star.  

But last week, she came home one day upset because he coach told her she wasn't a 7 anymore, unless she could do her beam series.  But she WAS doing her beam series.  When I met with coaches in December to lay the groundwork and have the all-too-common communication meeting, they said she needed (1) nothing on vault (2) a front tumbling pass on floor (3) a giant to dismount on bars and (4) her beam series.  She was checking things off of her list and polishing, polishing, polishing.  Middle is still unable to do the beam series that everyone else is doing at this level because she is not cleared for walkovers yet.  So . . . . she has to do a level 8/9 series that is two backhandsprings on the beam.  In December, coaches told me that if she was doing it, showing forward progress, not afraid, that was good and that she'd be good to go.  But, sometime between that meeting in December and last week, coaches decided that her doing the series and showing forward progress wasn't quite enough and that she needed to be doing the series ON HER OWN, ON THE HIGH BEAM.  Well, she wasn't quite there yet.  Safe to say, we had a miscommunication.  And I talked to coaches, specifically her beam coach a couple of times this weekend.  The bottom line is:  I laid it out for Middle and she got up yesterday and did it.  She actually did it several times, both on their own AND inside her full-routine on beam.  


Which means, this weekend, she's competing bars, vault and floor.  It seems odd to me that she had to prove herself on beam.  Prove that she can do this advanced skill, and she STILL isn't competing beam.  Odd sport, gymnastics.  But the point is . . . she'll be on the floor for three events and both she is overjoyed.  Over-freaking-joyed. 

Thursday, January 10, 2013

One of the things they don't tell you ....

I'm about to reveal something amazing.  Listen carefully.  Two things.

Number 1:  Apparently, the uterus is the organ through which all energy, ummph, and get-up-and-go comes.  I know this because back when I had a uterus, I had energy.  I had ummmph.  I could power through an afternoon. I had get-up-and-go.  Now, my get-up-and-go has done got-up-and-went.  I'm pooped.  Drained.  Exhausted.  More tired than I was after birthing babies. More tired than I have ever been in my entire life.  More tired than up-all-night study sessions. More tired that hungover-not-studying sessions.  Just flat down, dead ass tired.

Number 2:  What they don't tell you before you have your uterus removed is critical. Why did I never think to ask?  Why did nobody volunteer.  I think pre-hysterectomized women are so focused on the "yea, no  more tampon" party going on in their mind, that they fail to think, "will my emotions still roll?"  And the answer is a resounding yes.  You still feel like crying for no apparent reason.  You still feel like eating your body weight in chocolate chip cookie dough.  You still have moments of insane bitchy-ness followed by immediate and overwhelming regret.  You still feel short tempered, distracted, exhausted and overwhelmed.  Just like PMDD ... .  but, there's no release.  There's no Aunt Flow, no monthly Myrtle, no physical evidence for the insanity.   It's almost a let-down.  Wait, don't get me wrong .. . I'm not saying I MISS my period.  And I certainly don't miss the ginormous cysts and abdominal pain that comes with ..... I'm simply saying, especially if you are staring hysterectomy in the eyeballs .... you'll still have everything like a normal period ... just without the mess.

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Three Days ...

.... or maybe four .. .

Sunday -- pizza
Monday -- hamburger patties, broccoli, new potatoes.  It was lovely.
Tuesday -- chicken on a stick with teriyaki to dip and rice.  Salad.  It's hip to dip.
Wednesday -- Pancakes. Bacon.

Perhaps a week is too long for me to think about.  I fall off the wagon about Wednesday.  So, shorter stints are in order.  At least for right now, when I'm not grocery shopping.  I'm cleaning out the fridge, freezer and pantry and making creative meals for nuthin.

Which makes good sense .. .. . because right now I feel like the United Bank of Mommy.  Volleyball - second payment due.  Cha-ching.  Gymnastics.  For two kids.  Cha-ching.   TKD and the weapons class.  Add the weapons.  Wait:  sidelight.  My son.  Nun-chucks and a bow-staff.  Question mark.  Okay, I paid.   MOTH's car registration.  Cha-ching.  Crikey.  When will it stop???

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

On parenting . . . . .

I marked this section from a recent book I read, Live Wire by Harlan Coben.  I like it.

" .  . . let me tell you something about parenting -- something none of those self-help books or parenting magazines will tell you."  Dad turned and leaned in closer. "We parents grossly overestimate our importance.  I know you think that your mother and I are the most amazing parents.  I'm glad.  I really am.  We were good parents, I guess.  Most are.  Most are trying their best, and if they make mistakes, it's from trying too hard.   But the truth is, we parents are at the most, say, auto mechanics.  We can tune up the car and make sure it has the proper fluids.  We can keep it running, check the oil, make sure it is road ready.  But the car is still the car.  When the car comes in, it's either a Jaguar or a Toyota or Prius.  You can't turn a Toyota into a Jaguar.  I know the analogy isn't the best and now that I think about it, it doesn't really hold because it sounds like a judgment, like the Jaguar is better than the Toyota or something.  It's not.  It's just different with different needs.  Some kids come out shy; some are outgoing; some are bookish; and some or jocks, whatever.  The way we raise you doesn't really have much to do with it.  Sure, we can instill values and all that, but we usually mess up when we try to change what is already there."
Yea, I realize it's 8 days into 2013.  And I'm posting a few books.  Some might belong in 2012.  I can't remember.  The last few, I've read through really quickly.

Harlan Coben, Live Wire . . . .  it was okay.  I'm needing a new approach.

Gilded Wings, Laura Miller .  . . I really liked this book.  I will definitely read the next one.  It was a little dirty, a little drama  . . but I'm mostly just interested to see if this main character listens to her whisper and her premonitions become true or what kind of life she endures . . . .

Fade into you, Fade into me, Fade into Always . . . . Three separate books.  It was kind of a "Fifty Shades" spinoff in mini-books.  Short.  Same poor, tortured girl who lucks into the arms, bed and life of some wealthy man.  Blah, blah, blah.  Can I get a decent female hero, please?  Someone who maybe doesn't "luck" into a life-rescue?

I have a thought . . . .

. . . . and it goes like this . . . .

Facebook has me pissed off again.  Facebook, I realize, pisses me off more than it fills me up.  I seldom logout of my Facebook account and feel warm, fulfilled, or inspired.  I often wonder who really gives a good God damn what you are eating for lunch and why take a picture of it and post it to Facebook?  Seriously.  Wait.  Let me take a moment and be honest.  There are a half dozen or so people that I have reconnected with through Facebook that I adore.  And I'm really, really, really glad to have made the connection and either mended fences or had some kind conversation.  Really, I am.    Back to bitching. Cryptic posts kind of hack me off.  It's like a social fishing expedition to see who will bite.  Not me.  I'm not biting.   I tire easily of the finger pointing and universal untruths.   Perhaps my 2013 goal should include looking at Facebook with a new filter or reality lens.  And, a post-it note on my screen with a refusal to bite.    I refuse to bite.

Sunday, January 06, 2013

Damn, I missed yesterday . . . .

I've been trying to make a baby post everyday.  I just like it, as I've said a zillion times.

I missed yesterday.  For good reason.  I was busy playing with the kids.  So, if ever there was an excellent reason to not-blog, that'd be it :)

Big's first volleyball day of the season is today.  In just a few hours, actually.  I'm so, so, so glad that it's local and we aren't having to travel today.  We've got a boatload of travel on the calendar in the upcoming months for all kinds of reasons.  Ouch.  And cha-ching.  Double ouch.  Today, though, is a perfect starter venue .  . . right up the street, a mere 20 minute drive.  She's ready.  I''m ready.  Everyone's ready.  I hope they rock it!

I'm drinking coffee.  With protein powder in it.  Question mark.  I seldom get enough protein in throughout the day.  Darn, darn, darn.  So, I'm pushing protein.  I don't love the floaties on top and it leaves some kind of pond scum aftertaste .. . . but I'm still trying anyway.

I want to go to Montana this summer.

I want to go to Hawaii next year.  I've been banking timeshare points for years.  I think next year I'll have enough.  At long last.  Plus, everyone will be big enough to make a long flight and will be self-entertaining enough to hack a nice vacation.  Ahhh.  I can almost feel the sand in my toes.

School starts tomorrow.  I'm sad.  And glad.  I love, love, love having the kids at home.  But . . . they are getting restless and are ready for the routine.  Plus, they know the sooner they get back to school, the sooner summer is here :)  Middle and Little have the most dreadful PE unit coming up in the 3rd quarter.  They dread it every year, especially Middle.  It's the "Dance Unit."  She comes home and takes a shower.  The thought of having to hold the sweaty hand of a boy is horrid to her and makes her physically ill.  She'd be a great nun.  They would opt out of gym this quarter in a heartbeat .. . if only they could.

It dawns on me that I need to work on posts for . . . .
1.  Christmas
2.  Hits and misses of the holiday gift giving season.
3.  Regrets
4.  Whispers . .. . . my dad has been around every corner lately and it's been cool . . . but kind of freaky, too.  Sad.  It's coming up on a year since his passing.   That ties into the regrets post.

I'll have to get to all of that later.  Whoop-whoop!!

Friday, January 04, 2013

Getting serious . . .

Okay, brace yourself.  I'm getting serious.  Again.   My single, solitary goal for today is to formulate a decent shopping list and a meal plan for next week that goes with it.  I'm taking stock of the fridge, freezer and pantry.

Maybe if I can just teach myself to like this . . . .

I do feel very womanly and maternal when I make meals for my family.

So . . .

Maybe if I can just embrace that planning is part of that . . . . .

Oh my good-golly.  I'm exhausted already.

Thursday, January 03, 2013

One Last Thing . . . .

Last Girls' Night Out . . . . I honestly can't remember.  I went to dinner with my friend Carrie in about August or September of 2012.  I went on a shopping missing to IKEA with a girlfriend last, um, maybe February or March.  I took Big and Middle to the mall . . . does that even count?  Homestead visited last month and we stayed up after all the kids were in bed, talking until midnight.  Girls' Night is different now . . . .

Last Song I Sang to One of My Kids . . . I'm really digging the new Carrie Underwood song, "Nobody Ever Told You."  I sang part of that yesterday to-slash-with the girls in the car.  Incidentally, did YOU know that young girls have a firm body image of themselves at the age of NINE?!?!  That early formation impacts them for the rest of their lives . . . . and often comes from their mothers with "I'm too fat" comments, embarrassment over swimwear of self-consciousness.  Ugh!  It's a good reminder to be careful about what I say out loud and to be the channel my confident, inner Gladiator, especially in the formative, tender world of little girls' body image!

Last Romantic Thing My Husband Did For Me . . . He bought me a Zen Garden.  It was a small, thoughtful gesture.  At first, I wasn't so sure about it, but I have to admit . . . it's mesmerizing and it does force focus into something physical.  I really love it.

Last Reality TV Show I Watched . .  . Duck Dynasty.  I FREAKING love that show.  Go Team Jase.  I quote Uncle Si ALL the time!  If I ask the kids, "what do we want?", they all holler in unison, "a ham sammich!!"   Can't wait for new episodes.  It's mindless and hilarious and I'm addicted, plain and simple.

This seems like the most appropriate summation for 2013 resolutions, so I'm posting this.  Every single one applies to one or more areas of my life, so I'm going with this as a 2013 resolution . . . .