Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I take it back . . . sort of . . . and much better . . . .

Okay . . . . at least two things:

I take it back.  Well, sort of.  In one of the last couple of posts,  I wrote about platitudes and said something to the effect that death makes everyone your best friend.  I take it back.  I probably was in a bad mood and over-reacted to something simple.  It happens.  Grief.  Good grief.  It was partially honest, though.  I am somewhat troubled by platitudes that try to lessen the blow and force me to see the bright side of things.  It hurts, plain and simple. And right now, Pop is still in refrigeration.  The physical act of dying doesn't make it "over".  Not by a long stretch.  In fact, this week has been rough.  Very rough.  HOWEVER, Pop's passing has caused the resurfacing of a couple of old names, from as far back as high school days  . . and I have found comfort in some of the cards, emails, wall posts and such that have come across.  So, thank you.  Thank you very much.  I didn't mean to be such an insensitive bitch.

Much better.  Today is Wednesday and I'm feeling much better.  In no particular order, I'm beginning to reign in the chaos.  Have you figured out that I'm a little bit of a control freak?  Well, I've reigned in the disarray and the things left undone.  I've caught up the laundry.  I've been to the grocery store.  I've planned a few meals.  I bought Little a few pairs of pants on clearance at Target.  My poor kid looked like he was waiting for a flood.  I threw out the yucky veggies.  I caught up my diet & exercise journal.  I wrote, wrote, wrote.  I set a date for a memorial service, talked to the reverend, have had several conversations with my Aunties, upgraded the urn, and finished the paperwork process.  I ordered copies of death certificates.  I took the volleyball jerseys in for screen printing.  I organized hotel accommodations for this weekend, and potluck food stuff for Sunday's volleyball tournament.  I bought a birthday present for Cora, a little girl that is having a birthday party this weekend.  I scanned my pile and got my desk AND for floor surrounding it into much better shape.  I'm feeling accomplished.  Go me.   I also booked a family vacation, rolled over points, and called all of our automatic payees to update credit card information.  Did I complain or whine about our major card being tagged for fraud and having to close everything.  Sheesh.    See, when it rains, it pours.  The week that dad was in hospice, I also had an ingrown toenail, a canker sore, my period and a fraud-tagged credit card.  Awesome.   I've run the vacuum, the steam mom and the broom a few times.  I've filled up the gas tank and spent some much needed quality time with each of my tiny darlings.

So, much better.  I'm keeping busy.  I like busy.

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