I had a little epiphany this morning. I always try to tie my light bulb moments to what I'm doing in that moment. Wouldn't it be cool if you had a moment of clarify every time you cleaned a closet or matched a load of socks??
Point is. It doesn't matter. All that how-I-feel BS from the last couple of weeks. Doesn't matter. I lost sight of what I'm supposed to be doing.
I'm here . . on this earth and in this life, married to this man and mothering these children so that I can raise them. They are my tiny gifts. How someone makes me feel doesn't matter. How THEY feel matters. How I MAKE them feel . . . now THAT matters.
So, now, I'm taking advice on how to block out the white noise. The 'competition', (for lack of a better word.) The mother of flower child (my friend down the street) says there will always be competition. It will always and forever be "the working moms" vs. "the stay at home moms". I'm really stuck in a jam . . . there is no category for the "work at home moms"; so I'm up against the toughest competition from both divisions. But, competition aside.
I quit. Let's just say . . for the sake of arguement, that I'm done working. I've lost sight of raising my youngins in the race up the spiral staircase to the glass ceiling. Let's just say I throw in the towel, just say no, throw my hand up and forfeit. I quit. I hereby promise to do my best to complete my job; do the tasks I am assigned. I will check work at the door. I will say no to offerings, volunteer stuff and the like, so that others might say YES. I quit racing. I quit competing. I quit.
And now, the rest of my epiphany. If I am 'that person' to anyone out there . . . I am truly, totally, fully sorry. If ever I have unintentionally put you down, made you feel less, made you feel a failure, questioned your decisions or how you arrive at them . . . I apologize. If ever I have pitted my work at home self against your working or staying at home self . . . I am sorry.
I know we are all in this together, and it's best if we get along with those who will encourage us; and coexist with those who will not. Can I get an "amen"??