Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Hell Raining Down --

Geez, Louise -- Apparently it's not just me getting the short end of the stick right now.

For me, it's my basement, insurance claim, field adjuster and the PILES OF STUFF randomly stacked everywhere. It looks like we are moving. It's the the "cough, cough, hack, hack" that's coming from every child's room at night. Why such coughing at night? No coughing during the day -- only at night. Is there a physiological reason for this?

Many of my "friends" -- (I use this term lightly) are also being served a shit sandwich with a side of, well, whatever you'd like.

Homestead and a "Missed Miscarriage" -- damn. Honey, I realize it doesn't pack the punch of a "real" miscarriage, but, still -- I'm thinking of you :)

The Mother of LIL PICKLE, well, her in-laws are visiting. I could stop there, but Homestead has AWESOME inlaws, so I have to qualify the first statment with instructions to revisit the shit sandwich line.

I have a friend that's been recently diagnosed with a "disease" -- a "real" disease. This is a giant bummer, and my heart is ACHING for her.

I have a friend that's so overworked, she's fixin' to implode. When this happens, it will spray blood and guts all over her office. It will be messy and ugly.

I have a friend who went to church on Sunday. When she returned to her car, the window was smashed in and the contents of her car -- STOLEN. That SUCKS!!

I have a friend that is in big, giant financial crunch-0 with a mistakenly reported (ok, transposed) number on last year's returns -- which equates to a "can I get a maalox?" moment.

Has anyone out there got some happy news? Funny story? Somethin' good? I'd like a break from flooded basements, lost pregnancies, disease diagnoses, and payment plans with the IRS? I'd like a break from the crazy bitch of a mother who made headlines here when she doused her kids in gasoline and set them ablaze. I'd like a break from politics. Anyone??

Saturday, January 26, 2008

I'm thinking of a number between ONE and TEN . . .


I'm raving about theses socks --




Alabama Belle sent these to Tinky -- (yes, I think I've decided on Tinky -- a nice combintion of Tiny, Inky, and Stinky -- which she definately IS!!)



I love these socks, guys -- They are stretchy and the perfect weight. The don't fall off -- and just check out how incredibly stylish her little piggies are!!






Tuesday, January 22, 2008

What's in a name?

Bet you are wondering why I'm pondering "what's in a name?"

Naming rights are fun. Part of the good part of expecting babies and breeding youngin's.

It's hard to choose a good name -- one that fits with the rest of your clan (or that starts the ball rolling for a good group). For girls, a name that would look nice on a billboard, as in "vote for ______". Same theory for boys, too -- a name that is strong, traditional if you want it, but doesn't buy them the curse of "no, i'm junior". For girls, a name that doesn't scream, "POLE DANCER." For boys, a name that doesn't leave them hanging their head in shame and saying, "no, that'd be my sister."

So, I'm pondering what's in a name -- because of this:

There is an ADORABLE little girl in Little's class at school. ADORABLE, I mean to tell you -- so darn cute, she could be on a Wheaties box. Or be one of those kid-standins for Barney or the Wiggles. Really cute -- that kind of top-notch, high-caliber, well-bred cute. Today, as I left school with Little, the cute-enough-for-a-ceral-box girl waved goodbye to Little, on the way out the door, "what's her name?" --

Harmless, right?

Right -- except that he said, "hmm, Fellatio, I think."

Think about this, young mothers, when you decide to name your little girl "Bellisio" -- which is, truly, my BEST guess as to what this little muffin's name really is.

Hmm -- what kind of cereal box could that go on??

It's not good

It's not good -- the flooding.

Flooding, in general, is not good. It's not good when true flash flooding causes the banks of tiny streams to give way. It's not good to watch elderly folks be heli-lifted off of roofs. It's not good when a sink overflows. Or a toilet -- boy howdy, that can REALLY be NOT good.

Also, in the NOT GOOD category is the flooding in our basement. "What?", I hear you saying. Yes, the flooding in our newly finished basement. You know, the FLOODING that has happened from the freezing and subsequent thawing of an "exterior copper pipe on an interior wall."

Not good, is the 300 square feet of BRAND-SPANKING-NEW carpet and pad, that are now cut in jagged shards and have been discarded in the window well.

Not good, is the seeping insulation and the over-humid drywall.

Not good, is the set of 6 dehydraters and blowers running in my basement.

Not good, is the shredded, removed, totally thrashed vinyl flooring in our brand new basement bathroom.

Not good, is seeing my pretty pedestal sink ripped out the bathroom wall and now leaning against the wall in the hallway.

Not good, is seeing all of the VERY-NEWLY-INSTALLED, newly-stained, shiny and pretty, didn't-even-have-a-friggin-chance-to-get-them-dirty baseboards ripped off of the newly-installed, freshly-painted, didn't-even-have-a-chance-to-scuff-them-up walls.

DAMNIT!! This is NOT GOOD!!

what I know today

is that no matter how far you "skootch" down to the end of the table . . . it's never far enough

i also know that "skootch" is a word created just for gynecologists

it is a word whose true definition is not fully appreciated until you "skootch" with a giant mauve papertowel covering your goods

Monday, January 14, 2008

This week .. .

* I received lovely gifts from lovely people -- THANK YOU to Monument Mama and The Alabama Belle!
* The dog bite completely healed.
* I managed a work out 6 of 7 days -- only took Thursday off!!
* Little started Karate and keeps exclaiming "YEAH -- I wanna break some bones!!"
* Man Of The House (MOTH) summed it up this way, "Sheesh, hon, why can't we make a baby that sleeps?!?!"

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Happy 2008

Keep thinking about resolutions, goals and "stuff" for 2008, but this song keeps runnin' through my mind, so I've decided to think about goals later and take some time to revel in the warmth of blessings that I already have:

Blessed, Martina McBride
I get kissed by the sun each morning
Put my feet on a hardwood floor
I get to hear my children laughing
Down the hall through the bedroom door
Sometimes I sit on my front porch swing
Just soaking up the day
I think to myself, I think to myself
This world is a beautiful place

I have been blessed
And I feel like I’ve found my way
I thank God for all I’ve been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

Across a crowded room
I know you know what I’m thinking
By the way I look at you
And when we’re lying in the quiet and no words have to be said
I think to myself, I think to myself
This love is a beautiful gift

I have been blessed
And I feel like I’ve found my way
I thank God for all I’ve been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

When I’m singing my kids to sleep
When I feel you holding me, I know

I have been blessed
And I feel like I’ve found my way
I thank God for all I’ve been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

Blessings In Disguise, Silver Lining and Buckets Half Full


Last week, I took my children to our friend's house. Family friend. We (collectively and individually) have been there MANY times. My children are right at home there. They know where things are, can located a bathroom and a candy bowl, know the rules and do very well.

Last week, my friend had an extra dog in her house. The dog belonged to her brother. The dog looked something (not exactly, of course) like like the image above.
My kids know this dog. Last summer, they threw balls for her. They've given her treats. She's sniffed their hands and played with them.
But last week, in (LITERALLY) the blink of an eye . . . the dog like the one above, sensed some sort of danger from Middle. And she lunged at her. And she bit her. And she growled the most horrible, loud, terrible, don't mess with me, big-dog growl that I believe I have ever heard. And Middle screamed (of course), and she ran to me; AND . . . AND . . AND . . .
And, Middle REACTED. She reacted PERFECTLY.
As I replay this incident for the millionth time in my maternal "thanks-be-to-God" mind, I can't help but recall stories of dog maulings on the local news. This could have happened to my child. I think of how kids tend to "freeze" in the face of danger. It happened once with Big and a dog who (yes, another story) attempted to mount her. Though I was standing beside her, in the very same room, Big was so terrified, she could not utter a sound, and was, quite literally, frozen in space with fright.
Middle, THANKS-BE-TO-GOD, had the where-with-all, when this doggie lunged at her chest/neck area -- to turn her body toward the dog. Truth: the dog sunk it's jaws into her shoulder/scapula. Truth: there were visable upper and lower jaw marks a good 8 inches in span on her skin. Truth: she had multiple punctures and some deep bruising. She also had the good sense to get the hell out of the situation and to call for help. Again, I say (I scream, I shout from the mountain tops -- THANKSBETOGOD!!!!)
AND, so now, I bet you are wondering why I titled this post blessings in disguise, silver lining and buckets half full. Here is why:
* My daughter reacted in the face of danger. She reacted well. Perfectly well.
* I was there for her in that moment.
* My friend has a baby only 8 weeks older that Inky, who will soon be pulling on ears and invading dog-space. (Need I type more, or can y'all see a tragedy prevented, here?)
* My friend's brother has a baby that is 10 weeks older than Inky, who will soon be pulling ears and invading dog-space. (Like I said, need I type more?)
* My friend's brother's wife has multiple neices and nephews who frequent their home. (Again, the writing on the wall . . .)
* The dog was up to date on all doggie shots.
In the days following the bite, my friend and her brother faced the insurmountable and emotionally devestating decisions on canine euthenasia. The dog is now in doggie heaven.
Alas, my bucket is half full. Truth: my kid got bit. A truth that my maternal mind keeps flashing back to: did her getting bitten save one of the NINE (yes, NINE) toddlers and babies who either ARE or would have been around this dog in the next several months? Maybe. Or maybe, I've created a hero of her. Perhaps I'm searching for that teachable moment. Perhaps you think I've minimized the situation.
Could be a zillion things, but I know I'm seeing silver lining because all-in-all, we're all okay!!