Saturday, September 29, 2007

Questions from Middle this week:

* How high to rocket ships go?
* What is above the sky?
* What is above heaven?
* Do rocket ships go into heaven?
* Do horses go into a separate heaven?
* Is it true that you don't have to look both ways in heaven?
* What's the difference between a rocket ship and an airplane?
* Are there some airplanes that are almost like rocket ships?
* How long can a rocket ship stay in space?
* What comes after space?
* Does space go forever?
* Are those bad guys from Superman really floating in mirrors out in space?
* How come a toilet in space needs a seatbelt and a safety bar?
* Why doesn't the pee fly up, too .. And splash your bottom?
Kahlil Gibran, a Lebanese born American philisophical essayist said this:

"Out of suffering emerge the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Things I need to do before the fetus escapes uterine entrapment, volume 1:

a. Finish moving the stuff in from the garage.
b. Make aforementioned stuff look nice enough to let it slide for several months.
c. Cobwebs from top of shower. Eew.
d. Finish painting. Besides, I need the rollers and brushes out of the freezer.
e. Catch up the snapfish snafu.
f. Panty. OMG.
g. At least one trip to Goodwill.
h. Recycyling. Simply out of control.
i. Make a nice dent in Christmas shopping.
j. Make a very nice dent in B-day shopping for Middle and Little. Jeepers.
k. Bathroom closet. Does anyone else get PLEASURE from using up a bottle of product? Shampoo? Conditioner? Lotion? I love to buy it, but love throwing away an empty bottle more.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Seriously.

I think one of the most wonderful things about pregnancy is being able to truly, fully, completely get your belly button clean. Four times in my life it has fwipped inside out to allow complete cleaning. This is a pregnancy perk.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

What does this say about me??

At G'ma M's request, Big is creating a birthday gift wish-list. She worked diligently on it last night, looking up words and referencing her book shelf, collections and jewlery box. This is on her list .. . (chuckle, laugh).

"A book by Judy Blume, not Flubber and not Freckle Juice, maybe -- Are you there God, it's me, Margarita."

And, for any of you gals from my time who read ARE YOU THERE, GOD? IT'S ME, MARGARET from cover to cover 9-11 times in one summer . .. I'm sure that strikes home.

I tried to explain, through laughter and tears, that particular book might be a tad mature . . but, cute none the less. I will say this .. the girl pays attention. Like, all those things on shopping expeditions of this summer .. when I've used the mommy line, "not today, honey, maybe for your birthday" ... well, she remembers. She remembers that dumb little frog necklace in the green plush crown box is right by the checkout at Party America. And, she remembers that only Dick's has the color of Mary Jane crocs that she REALLY wants.

Geezum, I say out loud.

Prego. It's in there.


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

My Day of Self-Beautification and Pampering

I'd like to humor you all briefly with today's story of self-beautification and pampering.

I went to the mall today sans children. Mission: primping and pampering. I know, I know . . going to the mall might have been my first mistake .. . but, I'm making an effort.

Let me preface this post by saying I'm not a particularly high maintenance person. My make up drawer defines simplicity. I don't even allow choices -- I wear the same make-up every day, regardless of what color I'm wearing or what I'm doing. Some days I go really crazy and wear mascara. On days I'm TOTALLY over the top, I wear lipstick. I have one lipstick. It's been my favorite for 4 years. (Get the picture).

My hair . . . is what I call "wash and put up". I don't use product. (Do hair products expire?) I don't straighten or blow and curl. I wash and put up.

I do like pedicures and treat myself to one every so often, and will my growing tum-tummy, that seemed like a good idea.

So . .. . off I go to the mall.

Step 1: Haircut. A lady named Destiny lopped 7 inches of hair off of my head. I like haircuts. It's sort of liberating in a funny way. And I still enough hair to wash and put up. When I picked Big up from school, she said I look like the girl on Hairspray. (I think about she's talking about John Travolta . . but I'll save her that emotional scarring for later.)

Step 2: Pedicure. It was lovely. I love the pedicure. I love the Asian men and women gathering around my feet and laughing. And talking in a language I can't understand. I'm certain they are poking fun at my callouses or bunyons. But, I don't care. I love the pedicure.

Step 3: When absolutely ape shit today and had a manicure. Nice pale pink. Haven't had a manicure in, what . . . 4 or 5 years? When I was working clinically, nails were a no-no . . can't have nails and be putting your fingers up other women's puddy's. Then kids came, and no nails for fear of slicing through their tender skin. Then garden passion. Why do nails when I'm fixin' to dig?? Anyhow . . had a manicure today . . . I feel like a lady!!

Step 4: As I was leaving the mani/pedi joint . . ANOTHER Asian man catches me . . . "You want chair massage?" And I think to myself, "YES, I want chair massage." $12 for 10 minutes seems like highway robbery to me if he's worth have a rub. Turns out, part of chair massage includes a vigorous snap of each finger (which totally jacked my fresh manicure). And . . . some, err, um . . awkward positions. Also, I think Chair Massage Man spanked me.

The price of beauty today is darn high.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Introducing .. . .

Introducing . . . . the fetus that has taken up residency in my uterus.
I'm warding off some popular questions first:
a. Yes, I know how this happens.
b. No, I'm not Mormon.
c. No, I'm not Catholic.
d. A unplanned pregnancy is NOT the same thing as an unwanted pregnancy.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Whittling away at "the list"

Today, we whittled down the list a tad. MOTH fixed the baseboard that keeps falling off under the sink. I stained the trim around the laundry room door. I sorted and hauled 6 boxes of JUNK to Goodwill. I retured a box and a magazine, delivered a table, worked in the garage. We sealed the tile table in the backyard, did poop-patrol, tossed in a few loads of laundry. We worked some more in the garage. Which means I got work stuff ready for orientation, posted lots of stuff for sale on craigslist . . . (you should know and love craigslist!!). Sorted backpacks, sorted recycling, filed some paperwork, finalized payroll, but THOSE clothes in THAT box . . .

I finished sewing up the torn carpet on the stairs. With satisfaction, I might add -- since now I won't trip and lose life or limb in the descent to the main level. I cleaned out the terrarium. The venus fly trap bit the dust. I don't recommend this project, fellow moms.

Labor Day here was labor. Guys came to labor in the basement. They nearly finished the trim. Ahh . . . a big hooray for carpet this week, please!! Yeah!!!

Short week at school. Busy week for mom.